I will survive...

Yup, I'm back.. Earlier than I thought actually.. But I had this someone tell me that he read my blog everyday to see if there's something new on it.. And now that was really inspiring I tell you.. What's on my mind right now? Hmm let's see..You know sometimes it's surprising how people just don't get the message.. I mean you give them all the possible hints.. But no! Talk about selective dumbness..
Anyway, I was just thinking how times change.. I know, I know, really cliched ain't it? But seriously there's still a reason as to why people introspect and retrospect so much right.. Sometimes you start liking the people you detested previously or then hating the people you actually loved once upon a time.. As for me, I seem to be an expert at this 'love-hate' thing.. When I'm absolutely disgusted about something or just totally mad at someone, I go to the extremes.. There is unfortunately, no in between.. But then that's how it used to be.. I'm talking about change remember? Life does eventually end up teaching you a lot, doesn't it? Where it's not just black or white, there's always that grey patch you most conveniently choose to ignore.. Today when I look back.. Ha ha.. Don't even get me started...
You know what, we always thought poison, blades and fire were dangerous.. Add the following to the list then.. Misunderstanding, miscommunication and misinterpretation.. they may not sound as evil in the beginning.. But I'm warning you.. These three M's can do a lot of harm.. Oh and when all three of them decide to hit you in unison, God help you!
The people who know me, know what I'm talking about.. And for the ones who don't know me, I think they'll understand it even better.. It's amazing how things seem so much better when its 'happy realisation' time and you stop taking all the crap people throw at you.. That too people who do not have any direct relevance to your life, but still love to mess up other people's lives cause of their dire need to go 'get a life'.. See what I mean? (Man, what was I thinking!) And you finally decide to be the bigger person at heart, the saner mature one and let the dogs continue barking.. I have so much to say about various situations I was involved in and the specific roles people played in the past, especially one in particular.. Haven't you often felt that songs convey all that you have to say.. At this time and point in life, it definitely holds true for me.. So here go the lyrics of the song..
This is indeed dedicated to that person who I've never shared a stable equation with, but who has nevertheless helped me grow manifold as a person, and not to forget, made me much much stronger.. No, I don't regret anything.. But people may influence you, no one tells me what to do!
I Will Survive...
At first I was afraid, I was petrified. I kept thinking I could never live, without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights, just thinking how you'd done me wrong. I grew strong, I learned how to get along.
And so you're back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here, without that look upon your face. I should have changed my lock. I would have made you leave your key if I'd have known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me.
Oh now go, walk out the door. Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh not I.
I will survive. As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive. I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give. I will survive. I will survive.
It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart. I'm trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart. And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry. But now I hold my head up high. And you'll see me with somebody new. I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you. And so you thought you'd just drop by, and you expect me to be free. But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me.
Oh now go, walk out the door. Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh not I. I will survive. As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive. I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give. I will survive. I will survive.
:) Peace...

Hmmm...

There... After all the procrastination... I'm finally a victim of 'blogomania'! A new pass time, a new addiction, a new means to vent my anger, a new place for my emotional outbursts, a new way of looking at things, a new platform to voice my opinion or then, a completely new thought process.. I have no idea what this is going to be.. But whatever it is... It's still me.
It took me a lot, trust me, a lot, to get started. I mean I found the entire concept so vague. Why would I in my right senses want the whole world to know how I'm feeling right now or what I'm thinking of at this very moment. But then, why not? To start with, I'm not going to write about how I mended my broken heart or my opinion on the latest political development. I have nothing against either, but neither is my inspiration or motive to start blogging. As of now, I'm just torn between choices, make that priorities. What, when, why and how? If only I knew...
It's amazing how the people you think you can actually count on end up being the ones who let you down. No, don't worry, I'm not getting negative in here. On the contrary, I feel like laughing at myself. Call it wrong judgement, disguised influence or plain stupidity, I've kind of mastered the act of fooling myself into the 'right' kind of people for me. Has the definition of trust changed these days by any chance?
Another thing, now if you know how to do this, please please please do let me know ok. Live without expectation. Impossible right? I mean isn't it human tendency that when you give something, you expect something in return? But I just realised that if I can handle this herculean task, I can probably conquer the world! Maybe being a little selfish is the only solution.
Isn't it ironic that sometimes there's absolutely nothing to do and sometimes everything at once! Actually I'm currently stuck in quite a similar situation. A little too much work, headed in opposite directions, risking friendships and relationships, trying to keep prior commitments while discovering something new, perhaps making the mistake of mixing the the personal with the professional, and oh yes, how can I forget, 'trusting' and 'expecting' a little too much... More? Maybe later..