At peace with myself.

The last month has been quite a ride. It feels like I have experienced a wide spectrum of emotions in just a matter of days. Maybe I have.

I've been slogging over presentations, assignments and tests. I've been running around everywhere trying to get things done. I've been making new friendships, breaking some. I've been hoping to chose between a post-graduate degree and a job. And most of all, I've been getting high on life.

Somewhere inside me I felt a conflict. Like it was me against myself. I don't know whether to blame it on the fact that my attitude towards things was changing, or that I was finding a balance in relationships. Oh I'm still very much the same, but yet somewhere I see myself change.

My friends have often warned me of being transparent. My reactions to most situations today have become just a silent tear. I am looking for my lost self somewhere; where, I'm not too sure. Or maybe I'm just at the onset of a self-rediscovery.

I have found answers, yes that's true. Finally, it's not just a case of only questions. Some make me happy and some sad. And to a certain extent that has helped me know myself better or what I want from people and things.

I love my work. And I love the people close to me. They are after all the supportive force that keep me going. I have learnt the art of tackling the various roles of my personality and am managing to live upto each one of them.

This concept of duality (my being a Gemini does not count in here), if I may call it so, frequently baffles me. In each moment I smile, struggle, ask, appeal, nullify, negotiate, rant, retaliate. But then again, in each moment, I am at peace with myself.

Life moves on... And with it, so do I.

Ignorance is bliss...

So I thought, untill now..

It's been long since I've written.. The reason being I was doing a lot of reading.. Everyone's blogs especially.. You've had a tiring day and just want to de-stress online, read quality stuff with meaning to it.. So you try and catch up on what people have to say.. But what do you get.. Hate blog posts.. It's a new trend I guess.. I'm really tempted to try it out..

I guess my silence in some situations is often taken to be my weakness.. I was brought up in a manner which taught me to be nice to people.. But some 'intellectuals' around me don't seem to function that way.. I think it's time they're told that two can play at the same game..

Isn' it surprising how people talk about others so carelessly and sometimes fail to realise that they themselves are like that.. Especially in Manipal.. I mean.. I know certain people who write about being relieved and happy that they do not have to live in a world of pretence friendship any more and then talk about how they have lost friends in 'social gatherings' as some term it on the other hand.. (And they call others fake!).. I really wonder how these people will ever maintain relationships with anyone at all in their entire lifetime.. Such people tend to garner so much hatred from those around them that they would probably keep swinging between people and relationships all their lives for namesake, and not truly belong to anyone.. Sad, really sad.

Some people talk about how others don't have an identity of their own and are recognised by people they are associated with.. It's kind of true you know.. I know of some people like that.. Some who are known just cause of their excessively workaholic boyfriends, but believe that they are probably God's gift to mankind themselves.. Who are capable of outrightly lying but making it sound so innocent (I'm really amazed at how information supposedly taken for a personal blog can turn up being a news story the next day! :P).. Oooooffff.. What to do? I just can't understand these breed of people.. And maybe at this point I should even stop trying..

Let the dogs, or rather the bitches go on barking, let them continue venting out their frustration through their immature rants (I thought that blogs could really be used for so many more productive things really.. Nevermind..)

P.S.: Thought I'd write a longer blog post as usual, but just realised mid-way that why am I stooping down to such a low level.. Let them blabber and blabber to their hearts' content.. Maybe when they stop and take notice that no one's really bothered about them(Work relationships are the only kind known to them after all), will they cease to over exercise that gab of theirs and stick to minding their own business.. ;)

Have a great day people!! Muah!!! :)